Somatic Narcissist

A somatic narcissist is a narcissist who is mainly obsessed with the soma, or body. The word soma comes from ancient Greek, meaning body.

Narcissists are sometimes divided into somatic and cerebral narcissists. Obviously cerebral narcissists use their supposed brainpower and superior intellect to impress those around them in order to elicit praise and adoration. They use their knowledge (real or feigned) and will boast of their academic or career achievements to present themselves in a good light.

Usually one or other aspect dominates in any narcissist, but apparently they may change, especially after major stressful events in their lives.

My body, my physique, my figure

For the somatic narcissist it's all about the body, how good it looks, what it can do, and how good at sex he or she is. They may be frequently flaunting their body, flexing their muscles, talking about their aesthetics, bragging about any sporting successes they have had or generally talking about how good they are at outdoor activities.

They may be considered health freaks or even hypochondriacs. They may have had cosmetic surgery to hone and sculpt the sacred temple that is their body.

And through their body, which may be immaculately dressed to accentuate the finer points, they expect to get their narcissistic supply, the compliments, adoration and adulation that their lives revolve around.

The sexual aspect

The somatic narcissist is often very boastful of his sexual conquests, looking for praise and admiration because of these, too.

And while they may indeed have many partners, sex with them is often cold and emotionless. In the same way that they learn to be charming to engage people initially, many learn how to behave in bed, too, and sex at first seems great. But as their victims become more and more manipulated the sex changes as well. It may be all about their pleasure, their orgasm, with little or no attention paid to that of the victim. The victim is simply an object to be used in any way they think fit.

It is not unusual for a somatic type to be married and have many extra-marital relationships, including with prostitutes. These relationships with many women are often a way for the narcissist to get narcissistic supply from many sources at once.

If the spouse is very manipulated and mind controlled by the narcissist, they will often have to tolerate the infidelity even thought it causes much upset and suffering.

If the spouse finds out, the narcissist has a variety of responses: he claims that they other women mean nothing, says that she needs to understand his needs, apologizing, denying it happened, physical abuse, promising his undying love for her and sometimes all of the above!

A somatic type often understands, too, that sex is a very powerful way to control the decision making of others and will use this to dominate and destroy others. Remember they have no empathy, so it makes no difference to them what pain and distress it causes.

For many a somatic narcissist, masturbation is preferable to sex with others and the emotional attachment that this involves. They may only engage in sex with a partner to dominate them, to show off their physical attributes or to boast about it later.

Psychological manipulation

Just because the somatic narcissist is all about his or her own body, doesn't mean that they don't pay attention to the mental and psychological aspects of the relationship. They can be every bit as good at manipulating others as any 'cerebral' narcissist. This makes them very dangerous to be around in terms of what they do to other people's personalities.

They, too, will destroy a partner's personality, make changes and freeze this new personality in place. You can read more about the dynamics of this false personality, or pseudopersonality, in these articles about narcissistic boyfriends and husbands.

As with any narcissist, it's never just about the narcissistic supply. They are not just looking for the attention, compliments and adoration. They want complete control over every aspect of your life. They will have you buy them gifts. You will pay the bills. Your money will be spent first and while you are broke at the end of the month, they still have their money to spend on whatever they desire. You will do the housework and take care of the children and pets. They will keep you busy running errands, doing paperwork, shopping and helping them to get their tasks done and so on.

Dealing with a somatic narcissist

Dealing with a somatic narcissist is the same as dealing with any narcissist. The longer you are in the relationship, the more damage you will suffer. They lack empathy, have a huge sense of entitlement, take what they want and abuse others for their own purposes. This is a given for any relationship with a narcissist.

In order to understand what is being done to you, learning about mind control and, if necessary, how sex was used against you is fundamental. When you realize the gravity of the situation you are in, it becomes much easier to not only make decisions to protect yourself, but also to act upon them. Getting away from them is very important in order to put an end to the abuse. Professional help is invaluable.