A socialized psychopath is in many ways more dangerous than an overtly criminal psychopath.
Why? Because it's easier to spot a psychopath that is continually involved with the law.
If we consider that 1% of the population fits the profile of a psychopath, then chances are that there are a few in the people that you know, but you simply don't recognize them…
Socialised or integrated psychopaths are like chameleons in that they blend into their surroundings in such a way that they are not noticed. When I say blend in, I mean that they establish relationships with people around them so that they are able to influence and manipulate others, often without being detected.
Here we have 2 reasons that they are so dangerous. Firstly, they are hidden, and secondly, people do not expect 'friends' to deliberately do them harm or to be so evil.
Robert Hare and Paul Babiak in their book 'Snakes in Suits' describes how the socialised psychopath will present themselves as the perfect partner by noticing the victim's needs, insecurities, and strengths as well as weaknesses in order to create a persona that seems ideal to the victim. The victim quickly likes and then trusts the psychopath and so the mind control begins.
They can be charming, witty and seem intelligent, talking easily about a range of topics. They seem friendly and understanding and may be the life and soul of a party.
But for them it's all about impression management. They are creating impressions, knowing that first impressions count.
Once they have established the relationship and feel they have created the level of control or dependency they want, they start to take what they want, do what they want and behave as they want. This can range from spending others money, stealing (possessions or information), demeaning others simply to demonstrate superiority, emotional and mental abuse, to physical and sexual abuse.
Read more about what happens in a marriage to a sociopath...
They lie very easily to continue the deceit and manipulation. Nothing is ever their fault. They will argue, justify and/or blame others for things that go wrong.
They may have the ability to seem genuinely sorry when caught out and can apologize and make promises that it will never happen again. But it's all an act. They have no sense of responsibility or obligation and typically repeat the same actions time and again.
Signs of a controlling son-in-law
In business settings, the characteristics of a psychopath can be attractive, the ability to quickly make decisions, the ability to get others to do things, the sense of confidence and lack of fear in risky situations. The smooth talking and agility in lying can often get them through job interviews straight into positions of considerable power and influence within an organization.
The socialized psychopath then begins to build a network of people that are useful for him (or her!), while at the same time undermining the authority of the competition or those who may be able to expose them.
They use people like game pieces in a game, where they are making up the rules as they go along. Unfortunately, the people involved are often not aware of this game, and are playing by 'normal' rules, which means they typically lose.
The socialized psychopath understands people frighteningly well; it's what allows them to stay hidden. They know how to press people's buttons, how to create fear and how to use it against others. They are cold and heartless with no pity or concern for the damage that they do to their victims.
When a person is no longer useful for them they will discard them like used objects. In romantic relationships, for example, the victim may be left alone and broken hearted, wondering what they did wrong. They may be considerably poorer, too!
More than once a socialized psychopath has disappeared from an organization, leaving a trail of destruction and chaos and severe problems in the accounting department.
These psychopaths then move on to another town or city and start over again.
The socialized psychopath is more or less hidden in society but that does not mean that they are not breaking the law. It just means that they have not been caught yet. They do steal, defraud, physically abuse and mentally torture their victims, even in therapeutic situations!
But because of the nature of mind control, the adoration by the victim as well as the dependency the psychopath creates, frequently their victims cannot or are afraid to speak up. They may feel they would be betraying their 'friend' or 'wife' or 'controlling mother', or they are afraid of further abuse.
It is difficult for those who have never been in the situation to understand this but that's how it is for the victims. This is often why a wife will stay in an abusive relationship for years, or a woman allows a controlling boyfriend back into her life when he has stolen money from her several times in the past or why a guy will stick up for a controlling girlfriend even thought it's obvious to everyone around what's going on.
Another aspect is that the actions of a socialized psychopath may be 'borderline' illegal. With the state of the legal system in many places today it can be difficult to demonstrate (in legal form) emotional abuse or personality changes due to mind control.
Either way, the problems caused by socialized psychopaths in the world today are increasing. Until the laws change it is your responsibility to protect yourself from them. How do you do this?
The best way is to learn more about the characteristics of psychopaths and to understand what mind control is and how to notice it so you can stop it before you get caught in the web of lies and deceit. If you have already been caught, you can read more here about abusive relationship help and leaving an emotionally abusive relationship.
Would you like to talk to someone about your situation?
If you think you are, or have been, in a cult or a destructive relationship, or a friend or family member might be in a cult and you want to talk to someone, send me a message on the Contact page and we can arrange to talk. All communication will be treated in the strictest confidence.